I could be a lover too when I am not a prerequisite

This hole I dug up for myself. I have known loneliness for so long my friends think of me as a refugee camp. I could be a lover too, when I am not a prerequisite. Besides, I want to hang on the throat of all of my lovers, say unforgettable, say my name, say my body bathed in blue light, say half nude, say half bravery. 

That thing you do with your smile & your fingers, god such a lover seeking paradise in a body curved towards hell, making music out of a soul like mine, 

but God 

See me casting my fears down by the rivers of Babylon, which is this man standing before me willing to conjure a heaven out of the hell that is my past. 

There is a gap between my teeth ready to allow for flooding, ready to allow for your body filling up spaces long occupied by people I gave up or lost. I am in the habit of losing things, I hope I do not lose you.

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Cover photo by Bernadetta Watts